ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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