i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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