All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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