i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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