Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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