The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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