I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize