I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
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You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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