someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize