her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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