Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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