Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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