On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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