I think my vagina is haunted
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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