physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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