i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Someone signed my nipple.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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