nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize