i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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