I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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