who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize