I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize