ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize