her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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