god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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