She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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