I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize