it was like his penis was on wheels.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize