Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize