Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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