Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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