I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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