I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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