I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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