so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We are two peas in an std pod
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize