I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize