when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize