hotel room ftw
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize