he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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