you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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