pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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