WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize