Got a toothbrush?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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