oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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