Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize