Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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