Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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