Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
In America we eat man semen.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize