So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize