; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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