cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
this just has baby written all over it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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